The Night I Realized I Love My Best Friend
by Rapini
Summary: 3rd person Jean POV, some Marco in 2nd chapter. jeanxmarco, yaoi. A night conversation in the training camp bunk beds changes everything between two best friends. Chapter 2 is the morning after. Awkward sexual tension. Budding romance, daww.
1. Chapter 1 - Night

Jean was laying in bed after another grueling day of training at the camp. His muscles cramped up from practicing with the Tri-Dimensional Maneuver Gear for at least half the day, not to forget the numerous bruises he had gotten from learning new hand-to-hand combat moves with the others. The showers that followed, were not only cold, but also hectic and short-lasting due to the horde of dirty teenagers who were eager to wash off the sweat and grim of the day. No, it wasn't until after showers and supper had passed that one could finally relax a little. In the sleeping quarters, the mattresses of the bunk beds were not that comfortable, but at the end of a long day, any rest was welcome.

The teenager got lost in thought. He often imagined what the future held for him. After two years of training, it had become quite obvious to him that he would make it into the top 10 graduates. Although legitimately talented, Jean did have a certain cockiness to him. It's entirely possible that he would have held the same belief even if he had been a mediocre trainee. No matter, he knew he would realize his dream of serving into the Military Police. The knowledge of this had made him feel somewhat resentful of the amount of time and training dedicated to the mastery of the 3DMG ever since. When would he ever face the Titans? If they _(those pieces of shit)_ ever made it all the way through Wall Sina, then humanity's fate would almost certainly be sealed already anyway, would it not?

The young man stretched his fatigued muscles slowly, enjoying the soft feeling of the sheets on his bare chest. He stopped thinking about the future and let himself fall into his more...primal instincts. A man's got to relax sometimes, after all. He subtly slid a hand under the covers and into the elastic band of his pants. The lights were dimmed, and while a few other trainees were already sleeping, reading, or laying in bed writing letters to their relatives, most were still in the common area, socializing. Jean took advantage of the room's quietness and began rubbing himself discretely. He closed his eyes shut, attempting to picture a naked Mikasa Ackerman as he fondled himself softly_. "Haah- yeah...She's so fine...hmm."_

He could not form a clear image of the girl's body in his mind, however, and he caught himself fantasizing more and more about the satisfaction he would get if he were to sleep with her. That is, the satisfaction he would get from stealing what he figured was Eren Jeager's girlfriend.

_"Aaah, that suicidal little fucker. Fucking hate you. Nngh."_ He grumbled inwardly, his dick softening as all he could visualize now was that face he wanted to punch into so badly. _"What would you do if I took Mikasa away from you, huh!?"_ The images of Mikasa disappeared as fast as they had come, and all he could think about was Eren's dumb expressions staring him down. _"__You wouldn't act so tough then, wouldn't you…yeah you wouldn't, you fucker."_ He let go of his cock and turned to his side, now completely turned off as he sighed to himself: "Whatever, screw it."

-"Did you say anything, Jean?"

He hadn't noticed Marco walking into the sleeping quarters.

"Haah? N-no." Jean scoffed as he sat up. Him and his friend shared a bunk, Jean at the top, Marco at the bottom. The pale haired teen checked between his legs quickly to make sure there was no awkward surprise poking through the fabric, but the images of his rival in his mind has already taken care of that. "So, what's up?" He casually blurted.

Jean didn't even notice at first, how his eyes followed Marco's arms as he pulled his shirt over his head. His gray eyes jumping from Marco's abs, to the soft trail of hair on his stomach. To his tan, freckled skin, to his lean, but fit build.

"Not much..." The freckled boy replied as he threw the piece of clothing over on his own mattress. "Maaan, I'm sore." He groaned as he lifted his arms one by one over his head, tilting his neck to each side and then in a circular motion. Eyes closed, he was completely oblivious to the stares of his best friend. Marco was built similarly to Jean, albeit he was slightly taller and thinner than him. They had both strong, muscled arms and shoulders, but both shared a certain youthful finesse as well. After all, using the 3DMG was not only a matter of brute force; it required as much agility as it required strength. After two years of six days of training a week, the recruits had all bulked up. Training to become a soldier was arduous, ungrateful work. Even Jeager's pocket dog, Armin Arlert , the weakest person in the 104th training squad, had grown some muscle up over the last year, if only a little.

Jean finally caught himself starring and quickly adverted his gaze, colors filling his pale face in seconds. _"What the fuck, Jean. What the fuck. What the fuck_!?" Perhaps this would have been simple curiosity, an odd, single moment of confusion amidst the raging hormones of a teenage boy, something quickly forgotten. Perhaps it would have been, if Marco had not jumped and lifted himself up swiftly on Jean's bunk. He sat cross legged at Jean's feet, barefoot, his dark brown hair disheveled. "That new move with the 3DMG is really hard… I'm hurting everywhere." He sighed.

"Y-yeah!" Jean gulped, forcing himself to get a grip of himself. He replied casually: "I'm getting tired of spending so much time on it, really. You and I will probably never even use one again after we graduate. It's bullshit." He lifted his hands up in a careless shrug.

Marco Bott, the voice of reason, smiled softly. He learned forward and squeezed his friend's leg through the sheets. "Aaw come on Jean, you know you can't think like that." Jean felt his body tensing up like a rock; he prayed the fire he suddenly felt in his cheeks did not show in the dim light of the oil lamps. Marco, if he noticed at all, acted as normally as ever. "You never know when the Colossal Titan might come back, you don't know what could happen. If the Titans make it into Wall Sina, it's going to be **our** job to stop them." His brows furrowed slightly, his brown eyes taking on a deeper, complex expression as he stared into Jean's. "We have to take this seriously, you understand?"

The younger teenager froze for a second before shifting his gaze away, frowning as he crossed his arms over his naked chest. "Don't be stupid, y-you think I don't know that?!" He shifted his legs under the covers and finally noticed his erection poking through the white sheets. He slowly dared a look at Marco, gulping nervously, sweat dripping down his back, hands shaking.

Marco had surely noticed by now, because his freckled cheeks had reddened as much as his darker complexion would allow, and Jean could see his chest rising up and down faster. He swore he could almost hear him breath from across the bed, but that might have been his own heavy respiration too. They both stared at each other in silence, for what felt forever.

-"…"

-"…"

Someone closed a book loudly across the room and shifted in their own bed. "Well, g'night Berth, I'm ready to pass out." Reiner snuffed the lamp on his bed post and laid down, the wood under the mattress creaking under his heavy frame as he moved. "G'night guys." He said louder to the rest of the squad. Jean and Marco suddenly both emerged of their trance, startled, eyes wide like those of trapped animals.

Marco scratched his nose nervously. "Yep, me too! Good night!" He slid off Jean's bunk in seconds, without taking another look at his friend, leaving him staring straight ahead, his light grey eyes still wide opened. He took another look at the tent between his legs, before laying back down. He could not tell how long it took for his heart to stop beating against his chest. All he knew is that the racing thoughts in his mind kept him awake for most of the night. He wondered about the young man sleeping a few feet away from him. Or…did he spend the night awake too?

End of chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2 - Morning after

_((Haha so they were supposed to do dat sex thing in this chapter but it didn't happeeeen. It's actually less sexually charged than the first chapter, but we'll get there, I promise. Some Marco POV as well this time around._

_I tried my best to avoid grammar mistakes/repetition but there might be some left, let me know.))_

**(The Morning After) The Night I Realized I Love My Best Friend**

Marco Bodt was standing up on the bottom part of the bunk bed he shared with Jean Kirschtein. His head and shoulders poking up next to his sleeping friend. Marco watched him sleep, enjoying the peaceful expression on his face for a few short moments before shaking his shoulder. "Hey, Jean…" He spoke in a soft voice. The blonde teenager, mouth wide opened, snored loudly and rolled over, turning his back to Marco.

He gave no apparent sign of waking up anytime soon. Marco shook him again, more firmly this time.

-"Hey Jean, wake up."

"AAH!" Jean gasped, visibly startled. He sat up like a bullet, the covers falling to his lap. His hand instinctively reached to the thumping heart in his chest. He glared at Marco, wiping the trickle of drool on his chin with the back of his free hand.

"Shit Marco, don't scare me like that!" Marco smiled gently, tilting his head to the side. "Hehe…Sorry. You were going to miss breakfast though…" Jean frowned. "Come on, get up." Marco added, before dropping back down to the floor. Jean sighed and started breathing normally again while he took a quick look around the room. He rubbed his eyes with his fists and then noticed that almost everyone had already gotten changed and put on their trainee uniforms; Eren, Armin and a few others were already walking out the room.

Jean was a heavy sleeper, it was not the first time Marco had to wake him up after he had slept through the morning bells; it had been a while, though. They had recently begun their second year of training, the daily routine had gotten ingrained into them. Jean would usually wake up a few minutes before they even rang. Jean wasn't surprised that he overslept this morning, though. After all, he had not fallen asleep until he had looked out the windows and noticed the sky growing paler and the stars fading away.

The reasons for his lack of sleep quickly returned to him, he swallowed nervously, brushing the thoughts out of his mind. He turned around and jumped out of his bunk in one swift move, landing a few feet down on the wood planked floor. Jean and Marco both knelt next to their bunk bed, to the clothing drawer they also shared. They pulled out their folded uniforms in unison and stood back up. Marco's was always folded more neatly than Jean's for some reasons.

Jean was not thinking about such things this morning, however. All his thoughts at the moment were focused on not letting himself get caught staring at his friend as he had done the night before. He made sure to turn his back to Marco as they both slid out of their pajama bottoms. Jean kicked the piece of clothing off his foot in one quick move, and then pulled one leg of the white trainee pants up, and then the other. They fit snugly up to his slightly protruding hipbones. He made sure not to turn around until he had finished buttoning them all the way up, while trying to get dressed as quickly as possible. He only prayed that he had appeared as casual as he would have on any other morning.

He couldn't possibly have noticed Marco looking him up and down discreetly as he dressed himself, biting his bottom lip, brows lightly furrowed and eyes narrowed with guilt. He couldn't help himself but stare at Jean's youthful but powerful legs, the few seconds of his naked tight buttocks, then his toned back and finally the blonde hair he wanted to run his fingers through so badly. Coincidentally, the same thought happened to cross their minds at the same time: _Maybe he didn't actually notice anything?_

Jean turned back around, they had finished getting clothed, so they began putting on the 3DMG straps since they would be needed this morning. As they continued getting ready in silence, they left the other's thoughts filled with doubt without realizing it. Marco finally spoke up as he finished tightening the straps around his right thigh in one swift pull. He sounded like his cheerful normal self: "Let's go, or there won't be anything left to eat." Jean smiled back at him, as he finished lacing up his boots. "Pfft, I'm the one who was waiting for you, you know!"

They walked out the sleeping quarters together and in direction of the eating hall. Jean's eyes had always made him look older than he really was, but this morning, it was particularly bad. He caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror; dark circles under his puffy, tired eyes, and stress wrinkles between his eyebrows aged him even further. He mentally shrugged it off, continuing the short walk through the hallway.

They sat at the usual table. Jean bit into a bland piece of bread without really caring to taste it. It was dry. Butter, with the lack of space to raise cattle within the walls, had become a rare commodity and was only enjoyed on special occasions. That is, unless you were rich, held a high rank, or both; neither of which could be said of the young trainees who had yet to pull their weight for humankind's survival, so dry bread it was.

Jean's companions' antics didn't necessarily bother him more than usual. He had even tuned out Jaegar's ramblings which usually bothered him even if he sat a table or two away from his. He spaced out, chewing mindlessly, mind half blank with fatigue, and half filled with thoughts of the previous night.

Marco was rather quiet too. Jean got pulled out of his stupor when Connie grabbed his sleeve and shook his upper arm roughly. "Hey! Jean! Tell Sasha to stop being such a selfish bitch!" he screamed as he glared at her. The girl across the table was laughing, half chewed food showing through her opened mouth. She shrugged as she stuffed another piece of bread in the space that was left. Jean hadn't even realized she had just emptied the serving basket by helping herself to a third piece of bread while Connie still hadn't had seconds. Jean waved his hand dismissively without a word, as if to say_"I'm not in the mood this morning guys" _ He took another bite of his breakfast in silence.

He wasn't sure if he was imagining things, or if Marco also looked more tired than usual. "_He probably couldn't sleep because I freaked him out…_" Jean thought. _"I'm such an idiot…Oh god…I'm such a piece of shit."_ Meanwhile, the freckled teen split his second serving of bread and handed it to Connie while looking at the clownish girl next to him with a mock angry face. "Now now, that's not very nice Sasha. That's it, you're not getting my leftovers tonight." The brunette's face turned into a perfect imitation of true despair. "WHAT?! NO MARCO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" She pretend cried loudly, her scream was too much to handle for Jean's fatigue headache. He pushed his plate and got up, "I'm done."

"Man, what's up with him?" Connie asked, a frustrated pout on his face as he watched Jean walk out. Marco shrugged as he finished his juice in one long swig, following Jean from the corner of his eyes until he was out of sight. He shrugged noncommittally, still smiling. "I don't know. He's probably just tired."

The truth was that Jean was not the only one who had spent a long night awake. Marco had heard him shuffling and turning and moving, the bed frame cracking under him as he shifted from one side to the other. Marco had almost convinced himself that Jean was just having nightmares. Or that he was too sore to sleep. Or it was just a random bout of insomnia…_Right_?

Marco had laid on his side, one arm under his pillow, staring at the wall next to him with his dark brown eyes wide opened. Sometimes he turned and laid on his back, staring up at where Jean laid, barely more than an arms length away. He caught himself lifting his hand up, grasping at air before letting his arm fall down on the mattress. He sighed. He tried to understand what he was feeling.

Did something really happen? Was it all in his head? "_What's wrong with me?_"s and "_Am I imagining things_"s littered his thoughts repeatedly through the night. Deep down, a voice he tried to shut down, without success; a voice telling him that Jean's erection, that bulge he couldn't get out of his mind even if he tried, had indeed been all for him. That they had shared the same feelings as they looked into each other's eyes. Marco had drowned his face in his pillow, squeezing it tightly. "_Damn it_!" He felt ashamed that it felt so wrong. Or rather, he felt ashamed that it felt so _right_.

Marco yawned as he, Sasha and Connie walked out the barracks and joined Jean and the rest of the 104th for another hard day of training.

End of chapter 2


End file.
